Match.com: Redux

So, many moons ago, I offered up my thoughts on (arguably) the most popular online dating website.  I even went so far as to help some of the more hopeless men on how to craft their profiles.  So, when I recently decided to venture back on, I was hoping to see if they heeded my advice.  But men are so typical.  They NEVER learn.  But, I love offering up unsolicited advice. It is one of my top favorite things, along with judging people, and cross examining men I don't know in social situations.  So I've decided to offer up a second batch of profile advice that will surely go unheeded.
Read more

Living at Home...at 27.

You know what's awesome? Not this.  Shocker, right? Who would have thought living with your parents when you are closer to age 30 than age 20 would be...not an ideal situation.  And yet, I, and many others, find ourselves in this very situation right now.  I thought I might make a primer for how to cope with it.
Read more

Good Luck!

Well, it's time for this girl to go into sequestration mode for the next 5 day (you see, in addition to learning French for my bar exam, it is also a 3-day, M-W-Fri week long event).  But before I shuttle off to my lavish digs at an undisclosed hotel in Kenner, I just wanted to wish everyone good luck, and to say I believe in my heart of hearts that each and every one of you can and will pass the bar!  But! If not? I will still love you all just the same (and I hope that is a sentiment y'all would return....) Let's take a look at all the people who have failed the bar, and gone on to do p r e t t y cool things.
Read more

You know you're studying for the bar when...

So it seems like everyone has been promulgating these, “You know you’re taking the bar when….” lists. I’m going to be honest with you - I'm kind of lukewarm on them, really.  I’m not really someone to make jokes about the law.  Whenever everyone is cackling over the punch-line of some intestate succession joke, I might be outwardly laughing, but inwardly I am thinking, “WTF I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS WTF WHY IS EVERYONE LAUGHING DOES EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT THIS AND NOT ME?” Also, I have too many personality “quirks” that turn people off - I definitely do not need to add, “makes jokes about the law” to the ever growing list of my weirdness.  BUT..having said all of this, I aspire to go viral just like all of these other bloggers do, so I thought I might make my own list.  Without further adieu…

Read more

....And then I blogged about food.

I've noticed that women seem to really enjoy blogging about the food they eat. Well, it's either entries about food or dating. Since I clearly don't date (See, every prior blog entry for evidentiary support of this proposition), I guess I should start blogging about all the wonderful and glorious food I've been eating, with the requisite and necessary accompanying photographs. 
Read more

Cat Ladies R Us.

As the Bataan Death March towards the last week in July continues, I keep finding new and productive ways to take "breaks" from studying.  In today's excursion, I designed my own custom t-shirts.
Read more

How to Make a Nervous Breakdown Fashionable

I've recently come to the conclusion that I am probably having a bar-related nervous breakdown.  I realize that some of my readers might be going through some similar experiences, so I thought I might write-up a "how to" primer for making your nervous breakdown as elegant, fashionable, and respectable as possible.

Read more

Match.com: Winking

So, as some of you may, or may not know...there is a feature on Match.com which allows a person to "wink" at you.  I don't know if they are trying to approximate the scene at a bar with this feature or what, but let me tell you something...if someone is winking at me in a bar, I am never speaking to them on principle.  If you want to talk to me, be a man and come up and try and speak to me.  Or in virtual world, send me a message.  But I digress.  Needless to say, it seems as though the "wink" seems to be the preferred method of reaching out for the following demographics: The over 40yr olds seeking women ages 18-55, the non-college grads, and people from Gretna.  But, ever the equal opportunist, I have perused their profiles.  In doing so, there were a couple of things I felt compelled to share to the greater world.

Read more

I used to have dreams.

Back before I was ruined by law school, I used to have dreams.  I wanted to be a writer for Saturday Night Live.  Then, law school not only stomped on those dreams, but spit on them.  As I sit here studying property, I decided to take a look back on my very amateur attempts at skit-writing.  I think I wrote this the night before one of my 1L exams...needless to say, I did not get the highest grade in the class.  But, since I haven't updated in a while, I thought I might copy paste this in lieu of writing an actual post, and share it with you.  Like I said, VERY rough and unrefined, but based on my real-life work experience.  Well, in the "boss sending an email but pretending not to remember the email immediately after sending it when confronted in person about it" sense.

Read more

...And then my dad went to Pinkberry

So, my dad is a notoriously terrible food orderer.  Really, really, really bad.  When at a restaurant, he will oftentimes order items of food that are not on the menu, and sometimes order items that are not even in keeping with the cuisine.  One time when we went to a Chinese restaurant he tried to order a side salad with oil and vinegar dressing.  When we go to extremely nice and fancy restaurants, he'll ask for saltine crackers and hot sauce.  Maybe it's a man thing, thinking that every restaurant you go into is bound to carry: hot bread, saltine crackers, Louisiana Hot Sauce, and oil and vinegar dressings.  Who knows.  Needless to say, when we walked into the Pinkberry, I knew we were in for some trouble.

Read more

New Orleans: Where The High School Years Never End

I'm sure some of you have expressed the following sentiment, "..oh god, high school was the worst time of my life."  Either you had bad hair, wore bad clothes, had bad skin, drove a bad car or, if you were me, all of the above.   What I mean to say is: It is a truth universally acknowledged that high school sucks, and is something you might talk about when being occasionally nostalgic, but not something you really ever think about unless you are in an awkward hotel ballroom with an open bar at a reunion.  But I am beginning to realize that in New Orleans, your K-12 education, for whatever reason, defines you more than any undergraduate, graduate, or post-graduate work does. 

Read more

Sexting

Here at Lil Layne, I like to keep up with the current events.  And no subject is more talked about than the following: Sexting.  More specifically, "Pexting."  I have a lot of thoughts on this.  So I'll just jump to the chase. 

Read more

How NOT to Pick Up a Girl in a Coffee Shop

Well, the parade of horribles that I encounter at coffee shops while I study continues to grow larger.  Today I witnessed the VERY WORST WAY to try and pick-up a girl at a coffee shop.  Unfortunately, I was the target of this "meet-cute" trainwreck.

Read more

Match.com

So, as some of you may know, I have been known to dabble on match.com for occasion. After moving back to New Orleans, I found myself bored, and needing a distraction, so I decided to edit my profile and bit, and peruse the offerings.  It was then that I realized that someone needed to write a primer for men who write internet dating profiles.  Of course, I have like...3...male readers.  But that is beside the point.  I just want to help you.  So here are my tips.
Read more

An Open Letter to the Woman In My Coffee Shop

Dear Woman Conducting Business Via Her Cell Phone in My Local Coffee Shop, Read more

We have a tentative date!

Have you heard? 
Read more