Real World Hamaca: The Hot Tub

We arrive to the Hot Tub after a long day of lying on the beach, eating, and drinking. I attempted to bring a little sport to the trip, and I went snorkeling, but the snorkeling trip was cut short b/c a small 14 yr old Dominican boy swam up to me and told me I was "so beautiful", and asked if I could please go into the village to his market to buy groceries, he'd really appreciate it. BUT I DIGRESS. Anyway -- so, we get in the hot tub. Before we can even get settled, an extremely sketchy Frenchman decides to GO SWIMMING in the hot tub, and proceeds to grope all of our legs under the water. I turned to his friends and said, "SERIOUSLY?", to which they responded, "OUI OUI OUI". I think at this point, perhaps we should have realized this Hot Tub was not a good scene.

Still, we persisted, and decided to move to the other side of the hot tub. This is when we notice that we are joined by a group of older Italian men, and a grandparently esque couple. All seems quazi normal, until I am struck with this sudden realization. The grandparently couple are wearing, no joke, their underwear. Let us keep in mind it is 5pm. The bra was, basically, see-through b/c it was wet, as was the underwear. The husband was wearing tighty whities. Adding insult to injury, Grandma saunters into the middle of the hot-tub, and she starts dancing (by herself). Okay. I mean, I can deal with this...I went to Mount Holyoke, right? That was until Grandmother's grand-daughter gets in the hot-tub, and starts lap-dancing grandma in a bikini with the words LOLITA scrawled over it.

ENTER INTO THE SCENE two dominican women in matching neon bikinis. I notice them motioning to a resort employee, who points to the hot tub. They get in. I think to myself, "something seems...suspect...about these two women who are wearing matching bikinis..." Then, I see them make a beeline for the old Italian men. I see the words, "Two Hundred" being mouthed...I see more rapid discussion, I see staff motioning to the women in the matching Bikinis, the Italians motioning "100" with their hands...the men saying, "i want you, i don't want her..", the men saying, "meet me in my room in 10 minutes"..and then it was like an epiphany: THESE WOMEN ARE ARE PROSTITUTES, and THE STAFF IS PIMPING THEM OUT.

The men get out of the water and head to their rooms -- the women then get out and follow, and we are sitting there absolutely speechless.

On the Next Episode of the Real World Hamaca...the chartered flight from Canada Arrives, things get messy, and I am found standing in the middle of the ocean in my jeans, shoes stolen, and unable to remember where I was staying, and what my name was. See you then. Read more

F-ing Canadians

I have returned from the DR -- and the first thought that has come to my mind is "f-ing Canadians!" I will give a more complete update of Real World Hamaca when I am not so bloody tired. Talk to you then, my 2 French Readers. Read more