...And Then I Realized I Needed a New Career Path..

You know how sometimes you start watching a really, really bad lifetime original movie, and you know that there are so many more productive/entertaining/fruitful ways you could be spending your time, but you've already started, and you sort of want to see how the trainwreck ends? That is what law school is like.

The biggest problem with declaring "I don't want to be a lawyer" is that I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what I'd do if I wasn't. I've been working towards this whole "law" thing since the first time I was ever bullied. Whenever someone was mean to me, I'd go home and write angry diary entries about how when I was older, I was going to sue them, take them to court, and make lots of money. Now that I think about it...this sort of behavior probably explains why people were picking on me in the first place...but I digress.

A funny thing happened though -- I started watching copious amounts of television programming, and suddenly - like deus ex machina - I have been overwhelmed by new career path ideas.

NBC Page: H E L L O - How fun does Kenneth from 30 Rock's day look?? He wears a blazer, and hangs out with tv stars, and gets to give tours?? My dream job! You know, when I was little, I used to give tours of my house ALL the time. While I didn't know any actual history of the house, I just sort of winged it. Did you know that we own a chair that Abraham Lincoln himself once sat in? Well, we don't...but anyone who ever took a home tour from me when I was ages 7-12 might have been told that.

Copywriter in 1960s Ad Agency: Let's look at Peggy from Mad Men -- girlfriend is not the cutest thing around, but she is being hit on CONSTANTLY by nerdy guys with brown hair who have jobs. This = my dream. Okay, so there are some sexual discrimination issues at play, but I do - not - care.

Assistant at a Talent Agency: Listen, Lloyd from Entourage has got it made. He gets to work with Ari Gold every day, all day long?? What is not to like about this?? Verbal assaults, slurs? Again: I - do - not - care. Lloyd gets to make phone calls to movie stars, and is rewarded for having an expansive knowledge of celebrity culture. Years of compulsive celeb blog reading suddenly = advantage and not a liability. Cha-ching.

But, Lil Layne is always open to other suggestions for non-legal job paths I can embark upon - I am also open to job offers as well. Anyone? Takers? Anyone? Bueller? Read more

C-Murder's Keeping Busy!

So, I routinely check back with our boy C-Murder (see prior coverage of C-Murder's trial here) to see what's going on with him up at Louisiana State Penitentiary.

Well, I have some exciting news to share! C-Murder is up for hire!

According to his "blog":

"Need C-Murder For a Feature Or A Verse For A Song Or To Host A Mixtape[?] email cmurderfans@xxxxxx.com

Stay TRU!!!"

So, you can't keep C-Murder down. He might be in jail, several hours away from civilization, serving a life sentence on a murder charge, disowned by his more successful brother Master P...but he is not going away quietly. In fact, he can appear on your very own mixtape.

Here is my question - do you think I could hire c-murder to write a track for my blog? Like a theme song of sorts? TiMo - a myspace user - had the same thought, and wrote the following comment on C-Murder's advertisement: "Soon as I get my Ca$h up ima holla 4 dat feature. Ima Fan,I be feelin your shit!" Me too, TiMo...me too. I gotta wait for that ca$h though. Maybe I can set up a pay-pal. Will my 4 readers donate to the "have c-murder write a theme song for the blog" cause?

Oh, I forgot to add: C-Murder's myspace features a new song - "Come Roll With Me."



There are a couple of things I want to note. While this video was obviously filmed in the "pre-incarceration" era..it is clear that C-Murder was really living the glamorous life often associated with rappers.
1) His studio doubles as a bedroom... I'm sure that's how all the greats roll...who needs a separate studio? Mo' money, mo' problems.
2) Let's play "I Spy" -- I spy a blue can of stuff that people spray when they are trying to pretend like they have cleaned, but are really taking a lot of short-cuts... Still guessing? Febreeze! I guess if everyone is living, sleeping, recording songs, eating, etc out of that bedroom, it is bound to be in need of some freshining.
3) Are we all clear that the woman on the track is singing, "come roll with me..I need me some nasty too" ? Okay, just wanted to make sure everyone is on the same page with this.
4) Solo cups! Whenever I see a slew of those red and blue beauties in someone's house..it just screams, "I have arrived and am a success." (Mom, Dad, take note, This is a jab at y'all. Please stop buying red and blue solo cups to supplement our normal glassware. It is embarrassing to me...and I hardly ever say that. Not even when Dad went "bow-hunting" for faux deer statuettes out of the canoe floating in the pool in the backyard.) Read more