An Open Letter to Barack Obama

Dear Barack,
My name is Layne Hilton. I want to work for you. I am very good at making binders and sorting through documents. You rock my world. Every time you speak, I shout and raise my hands in the air in my petite crackden studio apartment in Spanish Harlem. You are my valentine (I've even picked out the E-Card I plan on awkwardly sending you). Please give me a job. I would make a very good personal assistant. Just think about it. I'll even let you stay at my parents' bed and breakfast FOR FREE if you give me a job. I think it's a win/win - you get a dedicated personal assistant AND a free room in New Orleans. Think about it.


Love you,
Layne Read more

Round Table Discussion Question

For any of my readers who have had the pleasure (?) of traveling in Europe with me, you are well familiar with my "Round Table Discussion Questions," that I often bring up in a setting with strangers once some alcohol has been consumed. In any event, one of the crowd pleasing discussion questions (especially in my English Major circles) is, "which literary character would you most like to sleep with, if he or she were a real human being."



Mr. Darcy is clearly one of the crowd favorites. I must confess, I thought of this post because I am watching Colin Firth a la Darcy on PBS as I type this. He is probably my number 1. Why do women go crazy for Darcy? I can't really answer this question...it's very difficult to pinpoint what it is about him. I am obviously attracted to his judgmental pride. Also, I love the way he gets stuff done. Lydia Bennett goes and f's it up with Wickham? Darcy takes care of business and makes it right without saying anything. I also love the way Elizabeth can totally attack him when he initially proposes, and instead of just taking it and being a wimp, he sets her straight. He's also extremely wealthy and could have anyone, but opts for Elizabeth because of her wit and intelligence.



Rochester (Jane Eyre). First of all, my (and my friends) extreme attraction to Rochester might mean we are actually masochists. Amy said that Edward Rochester is the precursor to Chuck Bass -- and I have to say, I agree. Let's be honest here -- secret wife locked up in the attic? HOT. Dressing up like a fortune teller to play games with your governess and ask her if she is in love with you? HOT. There is something about the Jane/Rochester relationship which is soo disturbed. Do we all remember when Rochester tells Jane that he and this other woman are getting married, and she is going to be sent away, just to see how she reacts? WHAAAA??? And yet? I just can't get enough.



Atticus Finch. The hot righteous lawyer single father. I'm obviously a fan of him because a) he is a righteous lawyer and b) he is so open-minded, and tries to teach his children to be the same. The single father thing? I'm not so much into as some other of my friends who I have spoken to -- although I will agree that any man who is good with children is very attractive.



Heathcliff. YES. Now, what is it about Heathcliff that gets the ladies going? I'm not entirely sure. Dark, brooding, vindictive -- what's not to love? Also, isn't it flattering how psychotic he becomes after Catherine Earnshaw leaves him? I hope to drive a man to that sort of behavior.

Some of the other answers I have gotten to the question are as follows:
Gatsby
Sydney Carton
Max de Winter
Jake Barnes (although, there are some issues with him...)
John Thornton (one of my faves)
Rhett Butler
Holden Caufield
Dean Moriarty

It is always interesting to ask men this question -- because the answers I receive tend to be very illustrative. I would expect things like "Daisy Miller" or "Daisy Buchannan" or "Becky Sharp". Instead, I have gotten, "That girl from Nicholas Sparks 'The Notebook" or "That broad from James Bond." This only has furthered my idea that men actually do not read. Read more