You know you're studying for the bar when...

So it seems like everyone has been promulgating these, “You know you’re taking the bar when….” lists. I’m going to be honest with you - I'm kind of lukewarm on them, really.  I’m not really someone to make jokes about the law.  Whenever everyone is cackling over the punch-line of some intestate succession joke, I might be outwardly laughing, but inwardly I am thinking, “WTF I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS WTF WHY IS EVERYONE LAUGHING DOES EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT THIS AND NOT ME?” Also, I have too many personality “quirks” that turn people off - I definitely do not need to add, “makes jokes about the law” to the ever growing list of my weirdness.  BUT..having said all of this, I aspire to go viral just like all of these other bloggers do, so I thought I might make my own list.  Without further adieu…

YOU KNOW YOU ARE TAKING THE BAR WHEN...

You hear an urban legend story about some friend of a friend (usually a female) who (ENTER SOMETHING HERE RELATING TO MEN)….and then failed the bar.  

I first heard this legend when a friend told me, “You know, I have a friend, who has a friend who started liking some guy from her barbri class, and then he messed with her head, and then she failed the bar.”  Others might have heard the legend go something like, “I have a friend who has a friend who started dating a new guy during barbri…and then she failed the bar.”  First of all: why are all of these hypothetical people failing the bar WOMEN? And second: why, in all of these legends, are all of the women portrayed as totally helpless schoolgirls? PEOPLE.  This is not a quiz in Ms. McLesky’s History class.  THIS IS THE BAR EXAMINATION.  If someone doesn’t pass, it is not because they were too busy playing MASH or writing a guy’s name in hearts…it is because the bar is hard as sh*t.  Which is a good segue to the next item on the list…

You and your friends start passively aggressively competing over who has the hardest bar. 

I have heard it all. 

“The thing that is SO hard about New York is that you have to learn two different standards of law!! It’s just so hard! I mean, at least you only have one law to learn…”

“No, but with California, the evidence codes are just SO different, so it’s really bad, and so hard..” 

“I mean, Virginia has the lowest passage rate of any state…but like…I mean, whatever they are all hard, I guess, but like, the lowest is VA..I mean, whatever.” 

I am going go on record right now and say the following: when you have to learn FRENCH for your bar exam, you give me a call.  MOVING ON.  

You find yourself talking about people who haven’t studied that much with glee in your voice.

I can’t tell you how many times I have overheard people talking about others who haven’t studied very much, and they sound really excited about it.  It usually goes something like this, “I’m really getting worried about Jim Bob.  He didn’t even know what a forced heir was!! I am just very, very, nervous for him.”  Okay, if you are truly worried and nervous about Jim Bob, then why do you sound positively GLOWING.  Literally, I never hear a bar-studier sound happier and more content than they do when they are talking about how they are allegedly “nervous” for a “friend” who seems to be less prepared than they are.  I even found myself asking strangers (in a rushed and excited voice), “tell me about the people you know who haven’t studied at all…” 

You’ve heard the phrase, ‘You’re smart, you’re going to pass the bar…’ and wanted to claw out the eyes of the person saying it. 

There is nothing more frustrating than hearing that.  Now sure, I am really glad that someone thinks I am smart.  But, what happens if I…don’t pass? Am I suddenly not smart anymore? And do people not realize the considerable amount of pressure that it puts on a person? I honestly would rather people tell me, “don’t worry about it – you’ve already exceeded everyone’s expectations when you graduated from high school, if I'm being frank.”