Mike Triplett, are you scared of me?

Well, I guess it was bound to happen. Mike Triplett is obviously petrified I will physically hurt him. I have scared him off with the frequency of my emails. Let's look at the time line of events.

1. Mike posts 2 of my questions in his Saints Mailbag. I guess he hoped that I would see the respectable showing, become distracted by my moment in the spotlight, and not notice his next moves. Look here, Mike: I read Harry Potter. I know how Harry Potter distracted the Dragon only to escape on his broomstick back when he was competing in the Wizarding Tournament. (Time-out (zach morris style): Am I ACTUALLY making Harry Potter references on this website? God what is WRONG with me? Time-in.)

In the now infamous "Mailbag" Mike also alluded to a video mailbag which he said he was going to produce before going on some sort of undisclosed "vacation." I heart the video mailbag, so I was eagerly awaiting the video. BUT WAIT! Mike never posted one. Instead, he made his "colleague" post one.

2. The story then gets weirder. I attempt to post a comment on the video mailbag-lite that this character in the Berkeley tshirt was trying to shill us, when nola.com informs me that I cannot post any more comments because I have posted too many in too short a time period. It was the first time I had tried to post in like 3 months. Was it a computer glitch, or have I been blacklisted? I didn't stick around to try it, because I had more pressing issues on facebook. Like...farmville.

Is MT so worried I am going to pull a Selena on him that is he trying to distance himself as much as possible from the newspaper/his beat? I have *not* sent him decapitated Barbie doll heads as is usually the protocol when one is psychotically stalking a celebrity (What up, Trent Reznor circa 7th grade?).

Also, MT - don't flatter yourself: you are not a celebrity in the vein of a Trent Rezonor or a Real World Cast-mate. Around New Orleans, I may actually be a bigger celebrity than you. I starred in the New Orleans Children's Museum's critically acclaimed production of "Paintin' the Fence" in 1996. People (my mother) have been talking about it for 14 years. It was quite the performance.

But, I would like you NOT to go into Witness Protection, or have a restraining order placed against me - you're a worthy opponent. So I've decided to create a list of things about myself which will hopefully diminish any fear you may have of me.
1-I used to compete in choir. You read that correctly: choir.
2-One time a homeless man came up to me, said had just gotten out of prison, and requested that I give him some money to take a shower. I gave him everything in my wallet, ran home crying in fear, and then called the police. When they arrived, I tried to force the cops to file a police report for my mugging, claiming that his weapon was 'telling me he had just gotten out of prison.' They laughed in my face and told me I had given the man a gift.
3-My cousins used to chase me around the house with an asthma inhaler, telling me it was mace and that they were going to blind me with it. I locked myself in my parents bathroom and didn't come out for 3 years.
4- I was inconsolable after watching "Edward Scissorhands."