Google Searches

In what is fast becoming one of my favorite segments, I go through the convoluted searches queries people enter into google which somehow bring them here to my blog.

Corry Rush: Are people out there actually searching for this guy? What do you need to know about Corry Rush? He is a dream-killing, Spawn of Satan, and I am tired of having to repeat myself on this issue. Corry...are you googling yourself and reading this? If so: can you please get me a press pass to the NFL Draft? I am available for Saturday. You know how to reach me.

Matt O'Hanlon Saints: I guess *somebody* is keeping his little fingers crossed, hoping and wishing that the Saints would draft him. I don't blame him. New Orleans is an amazing city, the fans are awesome, real estate is cheap, and we have a freaking lombardi trophy. I guess the Saints are like the Goldman Sachs of football teams right now. Having said that: Matt, meet Darren Sharper. He's our current safety, and he went to something called "The Pro Bowl." But hey! Far be it from me to ruin someone's dreams. I once had a dream of going to Harvard Law school. Then that dream ceased to materialize, and here I am. Now I have a dream of dropping out of law school. Maybe that bad boy will come true. But anyway... Matt, I wish you the best of luck. If you want, I can start a rumor around the water cooler that the Saints are seriously interested in you to drive up your stock. And by "water cooler" I obviously mean, on twitter to my >100 followers. Or I could interview you. I am an equal opportunity interviewer - I would interview a dog. And have.

Dragoncon Slut: I would LOVE to meet the person who looked this up. LOVE. I actually would want to do a multi-post series on this google searcher. We know it is obviously a man, and he is probably searching from some sort of basement (or other dark recess in his house), and he is probably in some state of undress. Imagine the scene: He eagerly opens up google, types in the phrase "Dragoncon Slut" and then....finds this blog. I wonder what sort of look came on his face when he saw this website? It's like thinking you are about to dive into a huge bowl of vanilla ice cream, only to taste it and find that the substance you are consuming is actually sour cream that has already gone bad. I wonder if he cursed, or yelled out "WHY GOD" or some other exasperated exclamation. Man, I can't wait for next September when Dragoncon rolls back into Atlanta.