An Open Letter to Corry Rush of the NFL

Dear Corry,

I've decided that since you've rejected my request for press credentials TWICE now, i'm going to drop any pretense of formality and call you by your first name. It's me, your good friend, Lil Layne! You thought I'd go away quietly, huh?

Last night, in the darkened recesses of my room, I did some research on you. You've had quite the career -- starting off as a (presumably unpaid) intern, climbing your way up through all of these AFC teams (another reason you prob hate me: I am a NFC fan), ending up as the most powerful man at the NFL, and general ruiner of dreams. I would be inspired by you, if I didn't hate your guts so much.

I also found video of you! Bet you're really regretting the decision to be filmed for You-Tube. BTW - this man with hand-held video camera....he was legitimate enough to get press credentials, huh? Let's see what you have to say!

Allow me to quote you: "That's what [the combine] is really all about: exposing future players of the NFL to all media members." LIES. If that were true, i'd be buying my ticket to Indianapolis RIGHT NOW! Instead I am writing missives to you, on the internet, that you will probably never read. (In case anyone is interested in seeing prior history of my various "open letter" campaigns, here are my open letters to the Saints, the australian man who promised me tickets, Lil Wayne, Don Draper , the miscreant who paint-balled my car, and last but not least Barack Obama. Well, if nothing else Corr-ster, you can hold your head up high that you are amongst a prodigious group.

It's not too late, Corry. I am still willing to buy a ticket and a hotel room to fly on out there. All I need is my press pass. I entertained thoughts of going out there without one...but knowing the NFL, I might end up arrested in jail without anyone to bail me out. I am but 1 person. It is just 1 more press pass. I will be the model reporter. PLEASE?

Here is another idea: you can hire me as an unpaid intern. I have SO MUCH EXPERIENCE in the field of working for free. 80% of my resume includes places I worked at for free. How about that? Sound good?

You know my email.

Lil Layne