Text from a Slidell, Louisiana area code phone number
Backstory: I guess at some point I had met this individual somewhere, and as I was leaving to go to a second location, he insisted we exchange phone numbers.
Guy: This is [REDACTED] let me know where you go
Guy: OK so my friends. don't. want to leave
Guy: Why no answer
Guy: We going to get a room downtown
Guy: What are r u doing tom
Guy: I really wanted to kiss you tonight but I known what you were thinking
Guy: OK talk to ya next week some time.
Guy: I have a reall great date planned 4 u
End of Conversation
So, let's file this one under: can have an entire conversation with himself guy. And I'm still waiting on that date.
Text Conversation with a Sarasota, Florida area code phone number
Backstory: This individual asked me for my phone number after we watched a DAYTIME football game. He texted me at circa 6pm.
Guy: Do u want to come over?
Layne: That's extremely forward
Guy: Yes, I am.
Guy: I am on an air mattress till next week...fully inflated!
Layne: Nothing more upwardly mobile looking than a man on a fully inflated air mattress
Guy: It's here babe, the door is open
Layne: I'm going to go ahead and have to say no.
Guy: My free time is few and far between...start up business. I will enjoy ur company, bring some wine.
End of Conversation
Let me tell you something Ladies - nothing makes you feel quite like a Princess like having a man try to entice you to come over to his apartment with the promise of a FULLY INFLATED AIR MATTRESS.
Text with a Waco, Texas area code phone number
Backstory: This guy and his sister started talking to me and my friend at the Columns. At first they seemed rather normal, but then they started talking about how they lived with each other. Okay. Then the brother started trying to get closer to me to ask me what my friend and I planned on doing after we left the Columns. He was going to ditch his sister at home. Then they left to go to their car, and they held hands in a very romantic manner, and it was extremely creepy.
Guy: Hey its [REDACTED]! Let me know what y'all are up to later. I'll come meet up. Got rid of my sister :)
End of Conversation.
Uh, no thank you. I am not interested in a brother who loves his sister like that.
Text Conversation with Baton Rouge area code number
Backstory: I went on ONE date with this guy, which I have yet to blog about because it is still too fresh. Needless to say, it was terrible. Then he texted me during the week, and I didn't respond quickly enough, and he said "I guess you don't like me." Then I responded and said, "sorry, I've been busy at work" then there was no communication until I got the following series of texts from him at 5am on a Saturday.
Guy: Sorry for being myself. Literally. Wish I wasn't me. Good news for you though...I didn't memorize your number and deletion of it means we can both forget we ever met in the first place. I can only imagine how awful you spoke of me to your friends, and I have one hell of an imagination. Communique Terminus.
Yes, he really typed out Communique Terminus and sent it to me.
2 comments:
i love that the air mattress guy told you (not asked, but told) to bring wine. he's as classy as a kardashian.
I feel like even rappers are evolving to bragging about their mattresses. Notice that pre-2009, it was all about the Moet and Cristal. Enter Pitbull, who brags about the "king size mattress we can lay." It's not TOTALLY out of left field, Layne.
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