It's a New Year - So...

Time for New Year's Resolutions!

Resolution #1: Will Lose 30lbs. Have recently been very successful with diet first semester of school, but I fear that my steady diet of movie popcorn, post-drinking pizza, and pecan pie over xmas break may have derailed the train a bit.

Resolution #2: Will Stop Unrequited Romances. There comes a point in every delusional girl's life that she has to realize "it's just not going to happen for you." Drew Brees will never love me like I love him. This can also be said for my unrequited loves who are not professional football players (here's looking at you Stephen Hawking). I am simply not in the same league of those I am attracted to - College graduate with good job? This is not do-able for me. My parents lied to me when I was growing up and gave me an overblown ego. It's time to wake up and deal with the cards i've been dealt. Time to start looking for those who have just completed GED programs. Or maybe there is a nice guy who just got out of prison who could change my car tires. Anyone have an employee who is at risk of being deported? Send 'em to me.

Resolution #3: Will actually finish writing a script. I have been telling people all over every which place that I am a struggling screenwriter. This is *sort of* true in the sense that I downloaded the demo copy of "FinalDraft," and had written 17 pages of various things...but then I had the great computer crash of 2009, and lost everything. So I am a "screenwriter" in the same way a law student is a lawyer..ie, not one at all. Read more

Tailgate!!!

Started off the day at the monteleone, partying with the unknown whodat. I then crashed the coors light vip party, and am now at a tailgate that is either for a trash recycling company, or a law firm. They are the same thing though...when you think about. Geaux saints!!!
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Have found the unknown who dat!!!! Will hopefully be meeting him shortly.
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Searching for the unknown who-dat

Have arrived at the montelone hotel, where the unknown who-dat is staying. Am hoping he will give me a ticket for the game, but will be happy to meet him. I will keep you updated
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Update on the Unknown Who Dat

Halt the presses! The Unknown Who Dat has been found.


According to the Times Picayune ,

Harris said tickets to the football game had been a 61st birthday present. When the car needed repair on the drive to the stadium, Harris said he "almost cut my middle finger of my right hand off," requiring a detour to the hospital. Bandaged but still in high spirits, Harris entered FedEx Field shouting, "Dr. Who Dat is in the house!" Though his son warned him against antagonizing Redskins fans, Harris said he visited each of the stadium's ground floor entrances, demonstrating his Saints loyalty.

Dr. Who Dat is in the house indeed. Thanks to some kind and generous fans, the Unknown Who Dat is receiving tickets, and a hotel room to come to tomorrow's Saints/Dallas game. So, obviously, I am thinking about stalking him. He has 2 tickets, and it seems like he doesn't have a wife..so....seems logical, right?. And maybe my mom will be happy that I am going on some dates. Read more

My Mother's "Let's Get You Married" switch has turned on

So - I was hoping that I could avoid the "single daughters must be set up by their mothers" trap...but...WRONG. Now that Lil Mom feels fairly confident that I will not be dropping out of law school, she has turned herself to a loftier goal: getting me married.

Last night, I attended a lessons and carols service at St. George's church in support of Lil God-Brother. As I was rolling out, my mom catches a glimpse at my face, recoils in horror, and says, "Go put on some makeup!" The following conversation ensued.

L: Why?? I am just going to this elementary school church service...
M: You never know who you are going to meet you know!
L: At an elementary school church service? Really?
M: Well you know..someone might have an older brother or something
L: ...who is a junior in high school. You do realize I am almost 26, right?
M: Or maybe a really nice widower or something.
L: Are you kidding me with this?
M: Is it so wrong for a mother to wish her daughter to have a fun social life, light fun dating social life?
L:...with a widower??
M: You are hateful.

So..I guess my mom thinks it would be fun to casually date a widower? And one who has an elementary-to-middle school aged child? Yeah nothing says "no baggage" like a deceased spouse and children.

She also likes to ask me what :::enter name of any male she and I know in common::: is up to. Usually this is how such a conversation goes:

M: What ever happened to :::enter name here:::?
L: I don't know. Last I checked he was playing in the sandbox..but that was when we were both 5 and I haven't seen him since.
M: You are hateful.

Oh boy. It's going to be a long xmas break. Read more

Saints Mania: Gossip Roundup

Well, readers, I have been out and about in the city, and I have collected quite the saints gossip. Well...not really. But it's all I got. Interested?

I reported yesterday about Kim Khardashian's dedication to Reggie Bush. What I didn't report is that my sources also tell me that Kim (when not hanging out at Saints Camp) can be often be found at Mr. Ed's Restaurant out in Lakeview. Yesterday I tried to go there, but it started raining, and I ended up driving past the mall...and...well...long story short, I didn't dine at Mr. Ed's. But can we talk about how weird that is?? I have admittedly never been to Mr. Ed's -- can anyone who has been tell me what sort of restaurant it is? Do they have TVs? Wifi? Why would Kim spend lots of her time there alone?

I also heard that some the Saints players have a weekly tradition they never miss: every thursday before a game, they go to eat at Ruth's Chris (or Morton)'s steak house over by Harrah's Casino. As last night was a thursday, I was so excited about going to one of these places to stalk them. But, as happens to any dedicated journalist -- it started raining, and my mom started shrieking about me about finding a husband...and well, that plan fell by the wayside. Read more

Saints Mania: word around town

According to my sources, Kim Khardashian is the most dedicated of girlfriends. She has been spotted bringing Reggie Bush lunch almost every day while he's at practice. She also drives him there in the morning, and picks him up at the end of the day. Too cute. Keep it up girl!! Whatever you are doing is working!!
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Saints Mania and the re-birth of Dirty South Rap

As a long-time listener of hip hop, I noticed that while New Orleans used to be the epicenter of the dirty south rap music from late 90s to 2003/2004ish, the current trend of southern rap had been moving away from Louisiana, towards Georgia (Atlanta), Tennessee, and the Montgomery-Mobile Alabama corridor. This made me frowns-town. Well...frown no more, because one of the unintended consequences of Saints Mania is the re-birth of Dirty South rap.

Something interesting happens when your local football team is undefeated --- people start making tribute songs. Only in New Orleans would a winning football act as the catalyst for an outpouring of creativity. It's like the enlightenment up in here. As much as I love my northern readers -- you didn't see people writing songs/raps/music when the Boston Red Sox finally won. I'm pretty sure they just set couches, cars, and curtains on fire.

Having listened to most of the tribute music. I have picked out my favorites for your listening pleasure.

Bring Em to the Dome (Saints Anthem)

I love the rap/rock/jazz combination in this song. Rumors on the street say that Lil Wayne's "Rebirth" album is going to have a rock-like feel to it, and I wonder if this is the sort of sound his music will have? If so, I commend Dee-1 and Shamarr Allen for beating Weezie to the punch.



There are a couple of reasons I really love this one. First - even though he is using the ying-yang twins "Get crunk" music, I somehow think his version is 100 times better. Second, I love the video footage of the totally objective and unbiased journalist sitting in the press area in the very beginning of the video. Third - I actually emailed this rapper (K-Gates) and asked him if he would sit to an interview. And get this -- he actually agreed (!!) even though I never specified who I wrote for, or what "blog" I was from. I have yet to decide whether I should conduct this interview, but I am seriously considering it.

SAINTS OFFICAL SONG

This guy is, hands down, my favorite. To me, Ya Boy P-A-T embodies the spirit of the Dirty South Rap movement. No musical equipment? No problem! Just play the soundtrack to the Madden NFL game on repeat. I love his opening monologue, I love the way he sings "so much fire." I love it all. Read more

Saints Mania: A Lexicon

In the lead-up to my next live-blogging project (tailgating before the 12/19 Saints Game) I thought that perhaps I should give my less knowledgeable readers a working glossary, if you will, to understand the language and terminology of Saints Mania.

"Who Dat": A (grammatically incorrect) war cry used by Saints fans of all generations. Some of the snobbier citizenry (read: my mom and dad) argue that the "Who Dat" only leads the nation at large to believe unfair stereotypes about the education and intelligence of Louisianians. I say to those snobs, who cares? So what if people think we aren't that smart? It's just like skinny tall model girls -- do you think men are going to stop wanting to sleep with them because they are stupid? No. Same rationale applies: people will continue to come to New Orleans even if they think we are deliverance-esque backwoods cajun hillbillies. Why? Because people can drink on the street, that is why. Plus - "Who's that?" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

"eaux": a suffix to be added to any word that ends with an "o" vowel sound. Traditionally used in the context of "Geaux Tigers," "eaux" has found it's way in a variety of different words and phrases. While I am okay with things like "13 and eaux"..people have started going a little too far with the "eaux." Like, "Heaux, heaux heaux" in lieu of "ho, ho, ho" is just weird.

Breesus: The affectionate nickname given to our much beloved quarterback, Drew Brees. On top of being one of the best quarterbacks in the league right now...he is also a stand-up guy who lives in Uptown New Orleans (while most of the other players live in some weirdo gated community in covington). Of course - living in the UPT does have it's pitfalls -- it makes it much easier for me to stalk him. Unrelated: if anyone knows where Breesus lives...please let me know. I would like to deliver a message to him a-la John Cusack in "Say Anything" (Boombox, Peter Gabriel playing in the background).

Who Dont: A phrase I recently came up with on my own (although no one seems to like it...) A who dont describes a really stupid move/action. Examples of Who Donts would be: when Reggie Bush runs backwards rather than forwards, when people miss an extra point kick, or when people try to do weirdo fake kicks. Sentence: "That Lil Layne just committed a real who dont."

Get Crunk: The song by the Ying Yang twins which is played every time the Saints score a touchdown in the Superdome. Crunk, as defined by urban dictionary, has two definitions, 1) crazy drunk or 2) smoking chronic and getting drunk. Normally, I would not feel the need to define such rudimentary terminology but my mother was under the belief that "crunk" meant "crazy with happiness." Bless her heart.

Holding: A penalty called by the referees when they are pissed off at their own lives, become angry and bitter, and decide to take it out on the poor unsuspecting Saints, because they want to see them lose. I liken the mental state of the referee to the average law student, who really wants to see someone from the top 10% of the class get a B in evidence.

The Unknown Who Dat: A man the camera panned on during the 4th quarter of the Washington-New Orleans game. The unknown who dat appeared to be soaking wet, wearing a blanket around him, and missing teeth. But he continued smiling and dancing even though the outlook for the game was bleak. It appears as though the unknown who dat has been FOUND - and he has been given: playoff tickets, a hotel room to watch all the football games, and...the piece the resistance - Superbowl Tickets.

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