...And then I met Warren Sapp.

I realize I have many updates to do in the wake up Superbowl and Mardi Gras. The next post in the series will be about the time I met Warren Sapp.


So I was at the Justin Timberlake/Mark Cuban DirectTV party with my friends C and SB. Without gushing too much, the concert was probably the pinnacle of my life, and everything from here on out will probably be downhill.

Somehow, due to 3rd degree connections to the party planner, we found ourselves in the VIP area.  My sensors immediately go up, and I am like, "It's time to find me some celebrities."

The first celebrity I spot is Warren Sapp. I turn to my friends and say, "OMG DO YOU SEE WHO IT IS?" They have confused looks on their faces. I guess not all women know as much football as I do. I continue, "UM. IT'S ONLY RECENTLY INDUCTED HALL OF FAMER WARREN SAPP!" More puzzled looks, "His twitter handle is QBKillah?" More puzzled looks. Whatever. I run up to Warren.

LL: Oh my goodness, such a big fan!!
WS: Oh thank you.
LL: I mean what a lifetime accomplishment! Hall of Fame! How do you feel?
WS: I feel great.
LL: I just can't believe it! I am here with the Quarterback Killah!
WS: Yeah you right.
LL:  Can I take a picture with you?
WS: Sure!

So I take a picture with Warren Sapp and continue on my merry way through the VIP Area.

Later in the evening, I found myself in a conversation with some ESPN Analysts.  Well...now that I think about it, they might have been guys who worked on the ESPN website who called themselves analysts to impress women a bars at 2am. Anyways, I tell them about my run-in with Warren Sapp. And I show them the picture:

Well low and behold, come to find out, the person I had been calling Warren Sapp was actually Marcellus Wiley. Who was neither a hall of famer, nor the "quarterback killah" as I had called him.

My world was rocked. How could I have made such a mistake? It then hit my like a thunderbolt. Cross Racial Identification. I started to question every picture I took with an extremely large African American man during Superbowl week thinking they were someone famous.

Which brings me to my next segment.  It's called, "Are you famous, or am I racist?"

 Famous. (Former Broncos RB Terrell Davis)

 

Famous. (Former Steelers QB Kordell Stewart) 

Racist. (Random Man outside of a bar on Frenchman, and not Ricky Williams, as I had thought.)