Television Advertising

Have we all seen these Zooey Deschanel IPhone/Siri advertisements?

If you haven't, here it is: 

I can't really articulate why, but this advertisement makes me homicidally angry.  At its essence, this commercial is about a woman who is hitting rock bottom.  It is mid-day, and she is still wearing the clothes she slept in the night before.  She is, at best, extremely messy, and, at worst - she's a hoarder. She's so thankful that it is raining, because that way she can use the rain as an excuse for why she didn't do anything over the weekend when her coworkers start asking questions on Monday morning.  She decides that getting out of the house is just *too hard* so she's going to order in some seamless web.  But no!! Because it's Zooey Deschanel, SOMEHOW this scene becomes cute and quirky and we all think "awww" as she's dancing like a drunk old woman whose teeth would be stained with lipstick. And it somehow it is supposed to make us all want to go out and buy an iphone.  

You know how this scene should really go? 

Open on an apartment the size of a administrative assistant's office.  It is mid-day, and there is a woman wearing oversized athletic shorts, and a t-shirt which says, "It's not a girl's school without men, it's a women's college without boys." She is surrounded by piles of work clothes, receipts, teen lit novels, and empty iced coffee containers.  She is asking Siri to order a pizza (which she plans on eating by herself).  She then asks Siri to play Justin Bieber, "I just need somebody to love." She begins walking towards the bed, where she lies down and opens up her laptop (which is propped on the bed) to continue watching Season 2 of Downton Abbey.  

It is a scene that I know all too well, as I act it out once a month (maybe twice). It is also a scene that I cannot imagine would sell ANY products, except for maybe dvd copies of Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, or, perhaps, match.com memberships.  

So,  F U ZOOEY DESCHANEL.  You're really making the rest of us look bad. If I want to spend all day at home alone in my pajamas, I don't need you out there on television setting the standard for how cute and quirky I should be looking.  That is all.