Please note..at DragonCon, all people are allowed a "badge name" that can be whatever you want. As I was picking up my badge, Gandolf the Grey, and a man named Sexaddicton were also picking up their badges. Cute.
As I approach the "Celebrity Walk of Fame" I am just brimming with anticipation. Will Chris Pine be there?? Maybe Robert Pattinson?? What about that hottie from Heroes who played Spock? OOHH I hope Christian Bale is there, because of the terminator movie and all.
All of this speculation is put to rest when I walk in the room, see no paparazzi, and am facing the "Walk of Fame"'s biggest heartthrob: the guy who played Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Never one to forfeit the possibility of an awkward encounter, I saunter right up to the table. On it, I see a variety of totally out of date headshots that were clearly taken when Spike was in his prime, and a handwritten sign that says, "Autographs: $25." I don't think so. The assistant asks me which photograph I would like, and I inform him that I am only interested only in speaking to the actor. The assistant looks a little scared, but I guess given the totality of the circumstances, and given the fact I was the only normally dressed person in the place, he allows me to proceed. I walk up to Spike (again, never really learning what his actual non-buffy the vampire slayer name is) and say, "I just wanted to tell you, that I was so excited that time you and Buffy finally got it on..I had just been waiting, and waiting, and waiting...LOVED IT!" He looks slightly shell shocked, tells me "thank you, I appreciate that.."
As I walk away, I stop dead in my tracks. Up ahead I see Peter Facinelli. For those of you not in the know, Peter Facinelli is quite the jack of all trades -- most notably, he is known to play the father of one Edward Cullen in the Twilight Series.
I become extremely excited, nervous, etc. I begin to check my hair, make sure there is nothing in my teeth, and prepare myself mentally as I approach his table. Autograph for $25? Hells to the yes. This is Dr. Cullen we are talking about here. As his assistant asks me who the picture should be made out to, I realize that it is so so so sad sack to get an autograph for myself. Plus, Lee Lee is turning 16 the next day, and she would just be beyond thrilled with an autographed twilight as a b-day present. As I approach him in the line, I mentally plan out exactly what I am going to say to him, and how brilliant it will be, and how much he will laugh and want to be my friend, and how he will invite me to toronto go to meet up with Robert Pattinson and the rest of the twilight bunch. The moment of truth arrives.
Lil Layne: OhmygodIlovedYouSoMuchInAllOfYourStuffThisPhotoIsForMyLittle
SisterCanYouPleaseMakeTheTextSomethingREallyReally
GoodAndTwilightRelated
::Breath:::
WhenTheyKilledYouOnDamagesIWasSoMadICantBelieve
TheyRanYouDownIWantedYouToTakePattieHughes
DownButIGuessNoDice
::breath:::
IveSeenCantHardlyWaitAndICantHardlyBelieveIamMeetingYou
hahahahahahhaaa
ThatsAPunButAgainThanksSoMuch
ForThisAutographedPhotoOMGItIsSoAwesome
Peter Fancinelli: :::hands me the photo::: .....thank you. Have a great day.
So...that didn't really go as I had planned, but looking down at the photo, I see that Peter Facinelli had been gracious in his autograph, and I am glad that I didn't ruin it completely.
After this, I am on a high, and hit C-List actor after C-list actor. I tell the guy who played George Costanza's Boss on Seinfeld that I loved his work; I tell the guy who played Jason in the Friday the 13th series that he gave me nightmares all my childhood, and I still can't watch horror movies; I tell the guy who played Terrance on Entourage that I really like his accent; I tell the guy who was in that Roger Rabbit Movie that i'm glad he is still wearing the costume; and finally, I tell Eric Roberts that I think Brad Pitt's Make it Right foundation is a scam.
As I walk away from the building, totally proud of myself, I run into none other than the Hulk himself...Lou Ferrigno. Knowing that he was Michael Jackson's personal trainer, this is clearly the biggest celebrity of the bunch. I stop dead in my tracks, planning out what I am going to say to him. But no! The Hulk makes the first move by winking at me, mouthing, "How you doing today" and walking away.
All in all, a total success.
3 comments:
I almost barfed in my living room when buffy and spike got it on. I remember it vividly. I had a very visceral reaction.
i LOVE it! keep writing layne! don't let law school get in the way
So I just read this. Dragon con sounds like fun. haha. thanks for the autograph by the way i love it. but i want to get a frame for it.
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