Trey Songz

So, it comes as no surprise that I consider myself somewhat of an expert in the realm of hip hop. I grew up listening to the 504 Boyz (What up, C-Murder!), the Big Tymers, Juvenile, all the cash money millionaires...and the list goes on and on. While I mostly listen to hip hop for the beats, I also enjoy witticism in my hip hop lyrics. That is why the music of one Mr. Trey Songz is so terribly offensive to me.

Unfamiliar with Trey Songz? Me too. According to Wikipedia, he is my age, and is from Virginia. Rapper from Virginia? I already hate him. But a bad home state can be put aside if someone is truly gifted at what he does. Trey Songz is not. Here is a sample from his chart-blazing song, "LOL :)" (Yes, you read that correctly.)

Shorty just text me,
Says she want to sex me
LOL smiley face
LOL smiley face
Shorty sent a twit pic
Saying come and get this
LOL smiley face
LOL smiley face

You have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME with this. REALLY? LOL smiley face? A song about sexting?? Hey Trey Songz...better make sure that shorty is over the age of 18 or it's going to be "LOL Federal Crime."

I thought that maybe Trey Songz just wrote this one truly terrible song and his other raps were much better. Apparently not. Here is another song called "Panty Droppa."

I wanna make love to you
This right here is a panty dropper
Panty dropping love song
Nothing but your heels on
Loving you
This right here is a baby maker
And we'll be making babies tonight

This is quite the party anthem right here. Let me tell you - when I go out to the club, i'm always looking to end the evening with the hope that I've made a baby. This song also reminds me to many, many years ago when a friend of mine (who shall remain nameless...but he knows who he is), asked me for songs to put on a "panty dropping" CD to use with his girlfriend at the time. If you're reading this...too bad Trey Songz wasn't around 7+ years ago.

Trey Songz also leaves nothing to inference or suggestion in his song titles. Examples: Sex For Yo Stereo, I Invented Sex, No Clothes On, Ur Behind, Make Love Tonight. I did not make those up. This man actually put pen to paper, said to himself, "I am going to create a piece of copyrightable expression" and wrote down, "Ur Behind."

Mr. Trey Songz...Lil Wayne, you are not.